Don’t set New Year’s Resolutions

So the New Year is here and with it comes the inevitable pressure of expectations, untapped potential and desires of massive personal change.

Don’t get me wrong, of course personal change and growth of any kind is a good thing.

However I hate to break it to you but there is nothing magical about January that will make your dreams come true.

Some people are very good at lulling themselves into a false sense of security at this time of year. 

They treat January like some kind of magical genie that will grant their wishes for them with minimal effort required on their part.

I’m afraid that the truth is that you are statistically no more likely to achieve your goals now than at any other time of the year.

Less so in fact because of the immense pressure that you’ve lumped upon yourself to do so.

January won’t suddenly give you the tools that have been absent the rest of the year.

If you use your enthusiasm to seek help from a coach or therapist then that’s a different story. I’m bound to say that obviously but it’s still true.

Also it’s important to look at your goals as preferences and not needs. People take it so hard when they don’t achieve their resolutions because they have told themselves that they absolutely have to change. 

They must change. It’s nonnegotiable. This strategic move to motivate normally backfires and backfires badly. When you tell yourself that you must make these changes and you end up falling short the self loathing and failure that you feel is massively amplified.

This is because you have attached far too much of your self worth to the achievement of your chosen goal. It would be great if you achieved your goal but if you don’t it doesn’t make you less of a human being.

To avoid this state of affairs, be more intelligent about your goals this year. 

Treat them as preferences. Examine what attitudes and opportunities you will need to develop to increase the likelihood of you achieving them. 

Be focused but from a place of calm, relaxation and positive self worth and not from a place of pain, insecurity and pressure.

Use these tips as the foundation to create long lasting change rather than just temporary resolutions. 

Khody Damestani